Habits, Rituals and Routines: What's the Difference Anyway?

What is the definition of a habit, how does it differ from a ritual, and where does it fit into gentle living?

I've firmly decided I like the sound of creating a ritual rather than creating a habit. Ritual sounds positive to me, whereas habit can go either way. After all, how often do we hear the term bad habit compared to good habit?

I suppose you've probably never given much thought to the difference between a habit, a routine and a ritual. Neither had I, until recently.

I'd been listening to a favourite podcast and downloaded a document designed to inspire me to write down my perfect day and what that might look like. (In my dreams, a perfect day would be without housework and include a personal chef, a manicure and a facial. A girl can dream, can't she?)

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And so, I decided to start my perfect day with my current morning routine:

Wake – meditate – workout – walk – shower – dress – coffee.

Then what?

Which got me thinking about my habits. Generally, when I think about habits, I tend to associate the word bad with the word habit. However, I feel like my current morning routine is actually a series of good habits. Of course, this all depends on waking up on time and not having to leave anything out, which can become perilous when you're trying to squeeze everything in.

Meditation is a good habit, but is it also a ritual? Or is it a ritual rather than a habit?

More on that later, because I'm already getting myself confused.

Good habits, bad habits and the glass of wine at 5.30

I thought a bit more about good and bad habits.

A good habit would be putting your car keys on the hook by the door every time you come home, rather than dropping them in your handbag, leaving them on the kitchen bench or popping them in a pocket. You know, so you don't have to turn the house upside down looking for them when you're already running late.

A bad habit could be dropping dirty clothes on the floor instead of putting them in the laundry hamper.

Or could it be the glass of wine you have every evening at 5.30?

Again, is that a bad habit or an essential ritual?

I suppose it could depend on how you approach it. A bad habit might be mindlessly slugging it down in five minutes, whereas it could feel like a lovely ritual if you put on some music, light a candle, grab a magazine and take a moment to relax.

Although, I suspect the contents of the glass might have something to do with it, too!

Opinions, anyone?

So, what exactly is a ritual?

I actually like the word ritual. It sounds somewhat sacred. Calm. Peaceful. There's something about it that suggests slowing down and giving a little more attention to what you're doing.

But where does it actually fit in?

(I'm starting to feel a little confused at this point.)

For me, I think a ritual is a special little something I add to my routine, sitting alongside all those useful good habits.

For example, in my morning routine, meditation feels ritualistic to me. It's a way of honouring myself and setting a positive mindset for the day, however much other people may unintentionally derail me along the way!

I also like putting on some gentle spa music while I apply my moisturiser, get dressed, do my hair and put on my makeup. It makes the whole experience feel more intentional and, again, softly meditative.

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Nothing particularly fancy, just a few small things that make an ordinary morning feel a little more special.

And perhaps that's where rituals fit into gentle living. Not necessarily doing more, but finding ways to be a little more present in what we're already doing.

Now, about the rest of my perfect day…

I feel like I've got the morning sorted, but what about the rest of the day?

I do have some useful daily habits. For example, I fold the washing while it's still at the line to save double handling and minimise creases. Call me lazy, but I hate ironing!

But adding little rituals to the rest of my day still feels a bit of a mystery.

Perhaps I could light a candle while prepping dinner and put on some music. It might make the daily chore of getting dinner on the table feel a little less like a chore and a little more like something to enjoy.

What do you think?

Maybe I need to stop thinking about creating the perfect day and start looking at the little things I already do, and how I might make them feel a little more special.

After all, gentle living isn't about creating another list of things we should be doing. Heaven knows we have enough of those already!

Perhaps it's simply about finding a little more enjoyment in the everyday.

So, do you have any lovely rituals, useful habits or great routines you'd like to share? I'd love to hear about them, and who knows, I might just steal a few to add to my perfect day!

Please leave a comment below. Thanks, lovelies.

Gently yours,Sharlene 🌿

PS - a distinction for you to finish off...

A habit is something we tend to do automatically through repetition; a routine is a sequence of activities; and a ritual is an activity we give particular meaning or intention to. They can overlap, which is handy to know.